destructive thoughts

Having a baby is really a life-changing. I remember a friend of mine told me,”once you have a baby, for the next 20 years, your life is not yours anymore.” I don’t know, probably she’s right, i just being a mom for 5 months. so, i think it’s too early to make a conclusion. But yes, for the past 5 months, she’s really dependent on me.

Anyway, It’s not that topic that i want to share here. For the sake of my thesis (ggrrhh), i came back home to Jakarta to do data gathering. Well, i need to finish my thesis by next year. Actually, I enjoy school, even i feel happy though i have to enroll a penalty class next semester- because i passed a period to finish the program.

After meeting some of my respondents (all are female and CHinese-Indonesian), i feel empowered. You know, sometime, after having a baby, you feel life has ended because you need to take care the baby..bla..bla..or after you got married, you cant be free like when you are single. Yeah, i had that thought too. ehm…Not had, but i think i trapped on that thought.

But after talking to them, their courage is infected me. Yeah, i think i wanna go travel by myself and leaving them at house hehe. I hope i still have time to finish my unfinished works too. All plans that postponed because of having a baby and getting married. It will be unfair, right, if i dont do all of those things because i put those destructive thoughts on myself.

I need to start to think positive and feel like i can do whatever i want in this world, which is true…its only yourself and or society who said you can’t, right?


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